


Right Here, Right Now.

by starlight131522



Category: High School Musical (Movies)
Genre: East High, High School, M/M, Same Sex Relationship, Underage Relationship(s)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-21
Updated: 2017-06-07
Packaged: 2018-05-15 09:04:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,807
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5779804
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starlight131522/pseuds/starlight131522
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"You find freedom inside - nowhere else. In the heart of every human being is that one space which is free, which is filled with peace, and which is full of love." -Prem Rawat</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

During school hours East High was loud, energetic, and with everything considered in an indefinite state of pandemonium. Students were constantly on the move trying to fit every last club and sport into their schedules. The school offered a large range of activities so no one ever seemed to have any down time. The one sport everyone seemed to make their top priority was basketball. Even if you had no interest in the sport itself, you probably knew a thing or two about the East High Wildcats.  
Today was the final day of school before everyone left for Christmas break. For most people it’s easy to get into the holiday spirit, it’s usually cold or their town may have seen a few good snows before it was time for break, but that wasn’t the case here. Albuquerque hadn’t seen snowfall in years or even weather cold enough to produce it; so in which case it was very easy to get caught up in whatever it was you were doing and forget all about the holidays. Chad Danforth was a master of this particular skill, especially after the long, tiresome summer he had previously endured.  
Immediately following his sophomore year, Chad became a pawn in his mother and father’s private affairs. He learned to anticipate yelling and screaming every time he walked through the front door. Of course, he stayed out as much as he possibly could, but his parents grew irritated with him staying at Troy’s house for weeks on end. However, Chad later learned that they never really minded the fact that he stayed out, they minded that they didn’t have him around to settle their arguments. They fought about everything they could think of, but ironically enough they never fought much about Chad. He had found that a bit unusual seeing as he always thought parents ONLY fought about their kids, but he greatly appreciated not being the focus of their attention. He wasn’t sure how he’d handle it if they started weaseling in on his life.   
So, after a summer of ear piercing screams and dish pans being thrown into walls, Chad’s parents had decided to file for divorce. Ultimately Chad was grateful; he would no longer have to enter the sort of living environment where the air is always full of bitter resentment and detestation. But on the other hand, this somewhat presented a new problem. You see, Chad’s mother had decided to move back to her hometown in California, leaving Chad with only his father here in Albuquerque. It’s not that Chad hated his father or anything, they’d just always had a lot of differences in opinion and didn’t have a very strong relationship. Chad used to be pretty close with his mother though, but once he reached a certain age he stopped looking to her for guidance as well. He always felt it was easier to never address anything, that way it didn’t feel real. But when you spend years of never acknowledging anything even remotely real it starts to build up inside of you, then you become a ticking time bomb and the question is “When will it go off?”. Chad’s went off the last day before Christmas break, after school, in the gym. He stayed after basketball practice to work on some free throws and really just mess around to avoid going home. He knew that once he got home he’d be given the rundown (once again) of their holiday plans. December 23rd, Christmas with Dad. Christmas eve and Christmas day with mom, New Years with Dad, throw the grandparent’s into a visit somewhere. It all gave him a headache. He knew that kids parents get divorced all the time and this shouldn’t be a big deal, but it’s just a little bit different when it’s you; it’s a little more real.   
Practice ended at 5 and it was now nearing 7:30, Chad wasn’t even sure what he was doing at this point. He started off angry, throwing basketballs as hard as he could across the gym, trying to hit the top of the E in “East High” on the wall. The longer he did this, the angrier he got. You would think after 2 and a half hours of throwing basketballs, running down and backs, and doing practically every physical exercise he could think of, Chad would be physically and mentally exhausted. But, the faster the hand on the clock moved the sooner he’d have to leave the safety of the gym and face “the real world”. Finally, Chad could run no more; his arms were giving out on him as well, so he found himself a place on the bleachers and sat down. As soon as his body stopped moving his brain started spinning. When he’s moving it’s easy to stop thinking; he can focus on the one thing he’s doing and only that, but as soon as he stops it all comes rushing back into his head. Information and thoughts engulf him that he has no idea what to do with or how to handle. He puts his head in his hands and squeezes hard, as if trying to contain the thoughts inside of him, giving them no chance of escaping. In a fit of blind rage he stands up quickly; he’s off balance at first but soon finds his footing and makes his way over the basketball cart. He starts flailing the balls in various directions, hitting walls, the bleachers, the headboard, he almost takes down a banner on the wall but the ball just barely misses it. He feels warm tears running down his face which only agitates him more. When he runs out of balls he grabs the cart throws it onto the ground causing an unpleasant boom to echo throughout the gym. At that exact moment the gym door opens and Ryan Evans runs in with his bedazzled crossbody stuffed full of scripts and music sheets. Chad immediately stops what he’s doing and suddenly feels embarrassed and small, he doesn’t need someone seeing him like this. Ryan is unsure what to do at first and keeps shifting his weight back and forth, unable to decide whether he should say something or just turn around and leave.   
“Um, hey I’m sorry. I was just on my way out and I heard something, just making sure no one’s being murdered in here.”  
The feeling in the air shifts and Chad allows himself to relax a little, he laughs under his breath before he answers Ryan.  
“Yeah not that I know of, but I’ll keep an eye out.”  
“You do that.”  
Chad barely holds his hand up as to say goodbye to Ryan and end the interaction, then grabs a basketball off the floor and walks to the 3 point line. Ryan turns toward the door but only walks a few steps before stopping again. He stands and listens to the sound of the basketball hit the floor, slowly, and with barely any force at all. He looks back to see Chad looking at the ground, bouncing the basketball absentmindedly. He thinks to himself, “he’s off in a different world”.   
“Hey! Are you okay?”  
Chad seems startled that Ryan is even still there, but he stops and looks at him.  
“Oh yeah I’m fine, it’s whatever.”  
Except it wasn’t “whatever” and Ryan knew that. Ryan had a million things to do to prepare for the winter musical and he told Sharpay he’d be home to help her soon, but against his better judgement he walked further into the gym.  
He walked until he was a few feet from Chad then stopped. Chad looked so small. The only thing Ryan could compare it to was the way he must’ve looked throughout the entirety of middle school. Everyday he felt smaller and smaller. Kids were cruel and he had always felt so ashamed of himself even though he now knew it wasn’t his fault he was bullied. It soon stopped when he got to high school seeing as everyone feared his sister and knew not to cross her path. Sure he got sick of doing everything Sharpay said, but it was worth it to not be in the position he has once been in.  
“Do you want to talk about it?”  
Chad wasn’t sure what to think. He had never really been asked if he wanted to talk about it, whatever it was. His mom would always just hug him and say it was going to be okay, but she never knew what was wrong or what was bothering him. She gave him false reassurance because it was the only thing she knew how to do. And god forbid his dad listen to what he has to say, I’m sure he’d rather dive headfirst out of a plane without a parachute. He considered his options, but at the end of the day he didn’t really know Ryan. He knew of him, but Ryan and Chad were practically strangers to one another, and somehow that made it easier. It’s hard to talk to people who know you too well, it seems crazy but it’s true. Ryan is unbiased, an outside perspective, so what’s the harm? However, Chad was still a prideful guy and felt obligated to let Ryan know he didn’t need to talk if he didn’t want to.  
“Oh that’s okay. We don’t have to if you don’t want to; you probably have stuff to do.”  
Ryan dropped his bag at his feet and found a seat on the bleachers.  
“No, I want to. Have a seat Chad.”  
Hesitant but for all intents and purposes willing, Chad did what Ryan said and sat down beside him.  
“So, what’s bothering you?”  
Chad looked at Ryan and admired how direct he was, but he didn’t even know where to begin. The easy thing to mention is his parent’s divorce, because really that’s the least of his problems now. But he didn’t want Ryan to think that was why he was having a meltdown earlier, so he decided to go with a really vague version of the truth.  
“Look a lot is bothering me. But bottom line, I can’t deal with change.”  
“Well that’s okay, a lot people don’t like change. And I can see that about you.”  
Chad wasn’t exactly taken aback by it, but he wasn’t sure what he meant. Ryan noticed Chad’s confusion and quickly added to his statement,  
“It’s just that you’ve always seemed so confined in your own world, predictable really. And I don’t mean that as an insult either it’s just by observation.”  
He hated to admit it but Ryan’s right.  
“I guess you’re right, but how am I predictable?”  
Chad couldn’t help but notice Ryan’s body was turned completely towards his, his right knee was brushing his thigh but he wasn’t about to say anything about it. He shook his head and tried to regain focus.  
“Well, for example you’ve been with the same friend group since Kindergarten. You always wear a t-shirt with some sort of button up and have since 6th grade. You live and breathe basketball. You even sit in the same seat, in the same row, for every class.”  
Chad threw his head back and laughed into the silence, sending vibrations through the gym.  
“How did you know I always sit in the same seat?”  
“Because I tried to sit there one time and you made me move!” Ryan laughed.  
“Oh yeah! Sorry about that man.”  
“Water under the bridge now.” said Ryan.  
There was a break in conversation, but it wasn’t awkward like it is with everyone else in the world. Chad had never expected to get along with someone from the drama club, but maybe that was a wall he put up himself. Because the guy sitting beside him now wasn’t just a member of the drama club, he was Ryan, and to Chad’s surprise he enjoyed his company.   
Ryan’s phone started buzzing from inside his bag, he bent over to grab it and rolled his eyes in annoyance. He declined the call and threw it back.  
“You can answer it if you want.” said Chad.  
“Oh please, it’s just my sister. I can tell you the exact conversation we would’ve had, not answering just saves time. But I probably should get going.”  
He hadn’t been there long and Chad couldn’t help but wish he would stay. Just the presence of someone new who was willing to listen was comforting, but there was so much more to be said.  
“Yeah of course.” said Chad.  
“Oh but here.”  
Ryan reaches into his bag and pulls out a small piece of paper.  
“Don’t mock me but here’s my card, feel free to call me anytime.”  
Chad held the small card in his hand, it read:  
Ryan Evans  
Performer  
555-0125  
Chad found it amusing.  
“Pink lettering huh?”  
Ryan lightly hit him on the arm and sighed.  
“Sharpay made them. She thought it would be a good idea if a talent agent wanted my number at a moment’s notice.”  
Ryan picked up his bag and threw it over his shoulder.  
“But seriously, call me. I know how hard it can be when you have no one to turn to. It can make the world of a difference just to have a listening ear.”  
Chad looked up to him and nodded.  
“Will do.”  
Ryan started to walk away and Chad stood up.  
“Hey Evans!”  
Ryan turned on his heels and spun around.  
“Yeah?”  
“Thanks.”  
Ryan smirked and pointed to Chad,  
“You’re welcome Wildcat.”  
Chad watched Ryan walk out of the gym and then was left alone with his business card. He laughed to himself and read out loud,  
“Ryan Evans, performer.”  
He felt heat rise up to his cheeks and looked around to make sure no one had heard or seen him. He shook his head. There was a ball that had sat beside Ryan’s feet when they were talking, Chad picked it up and for reasons beyond his own understanding decided to keep it. They wouldn’t miss one basketball.   
So he turned off the gymnasium lights and started walking towards what he knew would be an unbearable winter break...but he did it with a smile on his face.


	2. Chapter 2

Winter break was just as uncomfortable and depressing as Chad thought it would be. He had to try and answer questions on both sides of the family about what went wrong with his parents, and if he wasn’t being asked about that he was being asked about college.   
“I’m only a Junior” he thought.  
But his family felt he should have some idea of what he wants to do when he gets out of high school; what they didn’t know was that Chad was just trying to get through every day. He could never think too far ahead because a part of him didn’t think he’d even make it through high school, another part of him didn’t know how he’d survive without it.  
The break seemed to drag on for Chad, especially because he spent most of it contemplating whether or not to call Ryan.  
He felt so stupid pacing back and forth, thinking of all the possibilities of what could go wrong.   
“He said I could call so just call already” he thought.  
He stared at the card for days, always considering just throwing it away but never actually doing it. He never could get the nerve to type the number into his phone and press send. He didn’t want to seem weak or needy, which was ironic because he knew deep down that’s exactly what he was.   
Finally, on the last night of winter break, Chad decided he had waited entirely too long and would just try to catch Ryan at school. It’s no big deal, he thought. He was probably just trying to be nice to me. Though Chad was trying to convince himself of that, he still tossed and turned all night in anticipation for tomorrow.  
\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
The hallways of East High were more lively than usual after a long break. Everyone was excited to see their friends and talk about what they got for Christmas. The basketball team was also restless and ready to wreak havoc on the West High Knights. They knew that with Troy as their team captain he’d lead them to victory.   
As the team walks into the front doors Chad can’t help but be happy to fall back into his normal routine. Basketball in hand, surrounded by his team, it feels like home. He hopes they don’t notice he switched basketballs; they probably don’t pay that much attention anyways.   
“Stupid” he thinks.  
Just at that moment Chad looks up and sees Ryan and Sharpay walking towards them. Ryan has always been the type of person who can pull off wearing anything. He has on a light pink, button up shirt, bright blue pants, and a blue hat. To a stranger they may think Ryan’s color palette is nothing short of an easter egg gone wrong; however, no one at East High would bother thinking twice about it, because to them he was just Ryan.   
Chad thinks Ryan is going to confront him, and for a moment he panics. What would his friends say if Ryan just started talking to him out of the blue? What would his excuse be?  
But Ryan and Sharpay blow right past them, which Chad knows is nothing unusual. They were always busy, fast moving, and had something else to do. So though Chad was slightly disappointed he figured he could just catch him after Darbus’s class.  
Ugh Darbus, he thinks.   
The crowd of people surrounding Chad start moving toward their classrooms. Chad decides to hang back and wait until the last possible second to enter Darbus’s room, but right when he’s about to walk in he sees Ryan come up from the other side. Chad notices that he’s way too excited to see him and tries to wipe the grin off his face....he fails miserably. Ryan puts a finger up to his mouth as if to say “Shhhhh”. Chad looks confused but Ryan just grabs his arm and pulls him away from the classroom. When they’re far enough away Ryan starts talking.  
“Hey, so how was your break?”  
Chad was surprised at how nonchalant Ryan was but tried not to act like it.  
“Oh you know it was Christmas so great, yours?”  
“Why are you lying?”  
They were now in the stairwell on their way down and Chad didn’t know what to think. But he liked that Ryan didn’t tiptoe around things, he wished he could be more like that.  
“Sorry I just...don’t want to bore you with the details.”  
“You can bore me all you want, I have nowhere to be.”  
“Technically you do you’re just choosing not to be there. You know Evans, I didn’t think you ever ditched class?”  
Ryan turned towards him with a sly smile,  
“Oh there’s a lot of things you don’t know about me. Anyways, we’re here.”  
Ryan took Chad to a back building he had hardly ever acknowledged. Ryan pulled out a key (which was pink and quite amused Chad) and when he opened the door the first thing Chad noticed was how many mirrors there were. Mirrors covered the walls and the floors were light, wood paneling. There wasn’t much more to it, just a table in the corner with a couple chairs, an old stereo on the floor that probably didn’t work and water bottles that had never gotten thrown away.   
“What is this place?”  
Ryan walked further in and set his bag on the ground.  
“It’s an old dance studio. It’s also my sanctuary.”  
“Your sanctuary? Really?”  
Chad was only teasing him and Ryan knew that, he grabbed inside his bag and threw a wadded up paper at him. Chad caught it without difficulty and started unfolding it as he sat on the floor beside Ryan.  
He noticed the symbols as music notes, but he had no idea what any of them meant. Words were scribbled above the lines of notes, lyrics Chad thought. He started scanning the page but Ryan tore the paper out of his hands.  
“Hey! What was that for?” said Chad.  
“I don’t want you reading that, it’s no good.”  
“Well what was it?”  
They were both sitting on the floor slightly facing one another, not looking directly at the mirrors and not looking directly at each other. Ryan sits in silence for a moment as if debating on what he’s going to tell Chad. Meanwhile Chad finds himself studying the slight curve of Ryan’s jaw, it’s not prominent, subtle really, but it’s there. Just this thought alone embarrasses Chad and he feels heat rush into his cheeks. He immediately considers bolting for the door and getting out of there, but Ryan looks up and him and continues the conversation. Chad decides he probably didn’t notice him staring, but the thought that he might know makes him uneasy.  
“Well I write music sometimes as well as perform. I actually work with Kelsi on it every once in awhile. I hardly ever write the lyrics though, she’s much better at that. Oh but don’t tell my sister I do that, she’d probably lose her mind”  
They were sitting more side by side now, looking at themselves in the mirror. Chad didn’t like that because he was only looking at Ryan and he suddenly felt so exposed. As nonchalant as he could, Chad put his arms behind his head and lay back on the floor. Ryan followed suit, his elbow hitting Chad’s.   
“Why would your sister lose her mind?”  
They were lying close together and Chad cautiously let his leg rest against Ryan’s. He did this just as he said the last word of his sentence, trying to make it seem like he had done it absentmindedly, but in reality he felt the heat in every touch.  
“I don’t know. I think she’d just hate the idea of me not dedicating one hundred percent of my time to performing with her. It’s not that I don’t like performing or anything, it’s just that sometimes I want to do more. Instead of performing the story I’d like to create it, you know?”  
Chad laughs.  
“Not really, but it makes sense.”  
“Oh yeah. I forgot I was talking to a basketball player.”  
Ryan looks over and smiles at Chad, as he moves his head his hat falls off, Chad reaches over and grabs it.  
“How do I look?”  
Chad sits up and tries to fit the hat over his curls, he fails and just sets it on top of his head. He sees himself in the mirror and laughs.  
“I swear, no one in the world could pull this hat off but you.”  
“Well thank you, I’ll take that as a compliment.” said Ryan  
He snatched his hat back and put it back on his head, Chad continued to look around the room.  
“So what do you normally do here?” asked Chad.  
“Well it is a dance studio so…” his voice trailed off.  
“You dance?”  
Ryan threw his head back in contemplation.  
“Uhhhhhhh….well probably not in the sense you’re thinking. I don’t do ballet or anything, I usually just practice choreographed routines for shows, stuff like that.”  
“Oh cool.” said Chad  
“Is it?”  
“Yeah. I wish I was brave enough to get up on stage and do all the stuff you do, that takes guts.”   
“Well don’t you kind of do the same thing?” said Ryan  
They were sitting up now, leaning in towards each other at an angle.   
“What?” asked Chad  
“Think about it. You play basketball in front of hundreds of people all the time. If you screw up everyone will notice, if you do great everyone will cheer. It takes guts to do that too you know.”  
“Wow. I’d never really thought of it that way.” said Chad  
There was a sudden drop of conversation and the two of them just sat there in the abandoned dance studio. Ryan had moved closer as they were talking and his knee rested against Chad’s. Chad hated that he was conscious of it; he hated that he even bothered to notice it but he did. Not only did he notice it but he was so hyper aware that it scared him; he wasn’t sure what was wrong with him.   
“Hey so we never really got a chance to talk before break about what was bothering you. I hate to bring it up because I don’t want to push you on it, but you never called me and I’m just curious if you’re okay.”  
Oh. Chad didn’t think he’d bring it up. Chad looks at Ryan and he hopes he can’t see right through him. See that all through break Chad paced back and forth and picked up the phone and put the phone down and considered throwing his number away but never really did. He hopes he can’t see him. Ryan must notice the sudden fear on Chad’s face, he puts his hand on Chad’s back trying to reassure him.  
“It’s okay, really. I’m sorry I brought it up.”  
Chad froze under Ryan’s touch. As soon as his hand made contact with his skin the thoughts started to fill his head. Chad always just called them “The Thoughts”, they were something he had previously thought he’d gotten rid of, but one touch of Ryan’s hand and they all come rushing back. Chad doesn’t know any other way to react so in a panic he shoots up and runs for the door.  
“I’m sorry I just.”  
Ryan looks stunned and feels like he’s done something wrong.  
“I have to go.” and with that Chad left.   
He didn’t know where to go. When he was in middle school and “The Thoughts” arrived he would do his best to run them off. He would run and run and run until all he could think about was running. He can’t stay at the school though, he’ll have to leave.  
The gym, he thinks.  
He moves quickly to get to his car and drives as fast as he can without endangering someone’s life. Once he’s out of range of the school he’s not as panicked. He thought this was a thing of the past, he thought he could control this. He’d been through similar situations but it had never been this bad before.   
When he arrives at the gym there’s no one there. He grabs a spare pair of clothes from his backseat and heads for the bathroom to change. He can’t stop replaying that moment in his head. The electricity he felt when Ryan’s hand made contact with his back, the heat. He couldn’t stop himself from noticing how large Ryan’s hand was. Chad had only ever had girls try to comfort him like that and they all had small hands. He tried to change into his clothes but he couldn’t stop the thoughts from rushing into his head. Ryan’s jaw flashes through his mind and Chad can’t fathom the things he wants to do to it. And for a second, just a split second, Chad lets himself imagine it.   
He imagines his mouth on Ryan’s jaw, and the sounds he would make as he sucked on it, gently. He imagines Ryan doing the same thing to him and thinks about how good that would feel.   
He stops himself. He stops because he feels himself getting hard and he suddenly remembers where he is; he’s in the bathroom at the gym.  
He has to close his eyes and try to concentrate on his breathing, only his breathing. He finds it nearly impossible but he finally clears his head and is able to change clothes. After making sure it’s safe to walk out of the bathroom he jumps on a treadmill and starts running. He runs and runs and runs; as far as he’s concerned he’ll never stop.   
He’ll never stop running, but hell if he isn’t exhausted already.


	3. Chapter 3

The next day at school Chad put all of his energy into avoiding Ryan. He didn’t know what he’d do if he accidently ran into him somewhere; I mean what would he say? He wasn’t sure how to explain why he bolted out the door so fast; he considered various excuses.  
He could say that he couldn’t be caught skipping class on account of basketball.  
He could say he needed to run home because he forgot to feed his dog.  
He even considered making up some mystery illness prohibiting the touching of his back, but luckily he did not have to resort to using any of his lame excuses; Ryan was nowhere to be found today.  
Basketball practice was cancelled today for the first time all year, which is terrible timing for Chad because he really needs to do something productive to keep his mind off things. So after school Chad gets in his car and just drives around for awhile. He has no real destination, he just knows he can’t go home. It may not make much sense seeing as Chad hasn’t actually done anything, but he doesn’t feel like he can face his dad after yesterday. Nothing happened. He technically did nothing wrong. But he just knew that as soon as he walked through his front door his dad would look in his eyes and be able to see.  
Have you ever felt that way?  
Maybe you’ve done something wrong or you’ve thought a certain way about someone and you just know that people can smell it on you. You walk into a room and you feel you wreak of your own suppressed emotions, that your eyes are windows showcasing the terrible thing you did.   
Well, that’s how Chad felt. And in that moment he knew, he knew of the only place he could go to be safe and for the first time it wasn’t the gym. He found himself in the parking lot of his old Child Psychologist’s office. When he was 13 his mom began to worry about him, he stopped talking to her and he became (in a way) shut off from the rest of the world. His mom couldn’t get through to him so she hired someone who she thought could. His name was Dr. Riley Edmonds, but he always insisted Chad call him Riley. Chad saw Dr. Edmonds once a week for 2 years with very little progress. The entire first year of their sessions was basically just Dr. Edmonds trying to get Chad to open up, to trust him. From age 13 to 14 all Chad really learned to say was “I don’t know”, that’s all he’d ever offer. Now, the transition from 14 to 15 was a little different, no one really knew why other than Chad. Maybe he realized this guy wasn’t out to get him and was only doing his job. He began to feel less like he was being interrogated and more like he was just talking. But still, Chad never trusted anyone, so anything they would talk about was very vague and non controversial. Though he grew to like Dr. Edmonds, Riley as he referred to him, he could never bring himself to tell him about “The Thoughts”. To him, if he never said anything about them they weren’t real, and even if they were, he wanted them to be his thoughts only.   
As Chad gets out of his car and walks into his office he can’t help but feel the familiarity of it all. He hadn’t been here in over 2 years but by habit he walks in without knocking, luckily Riley has no client at the moment and is just sitting quietly at his desk, reading a book Chad doesn’t recognize.  
In an attempt not to startle him Chad knocks softly on the wood inside the door frame.  
“Hey” said Chad.  
Riley calmly looks up from his book and is surprised when he sees Chad standing in the doorway.   
“Chad? Chad Danforth? Well I thought I may never see you again! You’ve grown so much.”  
He had always spoken to him like a relative at a family gathering, remarking on how much he’d grown since the last time they’d spoken. But unlike family, Riley always genuinely seemed interested; he didn’t just say things out of obligation or habit.  
Chad walked further into the office and started scanning the room. Things looked about the same but he noticed little differences here and there. A chair that had once been by the door now sat in the opposite corner of the room. Old pictures had since been replaced with new ones, in new frames. Riley had gotten a new nameplate for his desk; his old one was plain and silver, this one had a wooden foundation with his name written in gold lettering. Riley himself however looked exactly the same; ashy blonde hair, medium build, he was well in his 40’s but his charisma always made him seem much younger. And he never dressed like every other boring doctor. Chad had been through a few psychologists before he settled on him and nothing compared to Riley’s sweater vests and and purple ties. He never understood why but every time he wore a tie it was a different shade of purple; he even asked him about it once.  
“Why do you always wear purple ties?” Chad asked.  
“Why don’t you?”   
That had been the end of that.  
“I’m sorry to come in without calling first, but do you mind if we talk?”  
Talk.  
Chad couldn’t believe what he was asking. His mother spent years trying to get him to talk and now that she’s gone he’s willing, funny how that works.  
“Of course son, have a seat. I’ve got at least at hour before my next appointment.”  
Chad walks over to the couch and sits down. Dr. Edmonds office isn’t exactly the psychologist cliche, but in retrospect it kind of is.   
Chad sitting on the long couch, Riley in the chair across from him with his paper and pen in hand; if it wasn’t for Riley’s sincerity the scene could come straight out of any average teen movie, but the lack of compassion wasn’t a problem.  
Chad wasn’t sure where to start, but he knew if he wanted Riley to help him he couldn’t beat around the bush. He was to the point where not talking was only hurting him; there’s only so long you can keep everything locked away before you feel as if it’s destroying you from the inside out. Riley looked at Chad expectantly, he spoke first.  
“Alright Chad, now you’ve come to me of all people for the first time in years, there has to be something on your mind. How about we just start with what you’re feeling in this moment, right now.”  
Chad was distracted by Riley’s pen touching the first line on his paper and remembered why he could never talk before, he hated being shrinked. He never felt it was fair that shrinks could just take a few notes and decide what was wrong with you. In this moment, all Chad really needed was for someone to listen to him. Chad hesitated before he spoke again.  
“I’m sorry but could you not do your usual thing with the notes? It’s just...I feel like I’ll be able to say more if I don’t feel like you’re my shrink. I just need a friend right now Riley, if that’s okay.”  
Riley seemed surprised, but not taken aback really. He sat his pen and paper down and sat back in his chair, in that single instance everything became much more relaxed and Chad didn’t feel as if he had to say the right thing at the right time or he’d be put on medication, he just felt like he finally had a listening ear.  
“Okay, go for it kid.”  
Chad began by explaining that his parents were recently divorced and how that sudden change in living had been a bit of a shock to his life. He talked about how despite the fact that he hadn’t really spoken to her much he really missed his mom and wished she’d move back. He exhausted nearly every topic of everything that has been building up inside him before he finally got to his current dilemma: Ryan.  
“Something happened yesterday. Well, I guess nothing really happened in the real world but it did in my mind. Does that make any sense?”  
“Sure it does. Go on.” Riley had been careful not to say much and stop Chad from opening up to him, that was the first time he had said anything since Chad starting talking.  
“Look, the last day of school before break I was in the gym and I was really freaking out over everything and I was totally overwhelmed. But then when I was kind of in mid freak out mode I heard the door to the gym open and this guy was just standing there watching me. I remember thinking oh great he’s going to think I’m insane or something, but he didn’t, and if he did he didn’t act like it. His name’s Ryan. He actually stayed and talked to me, then said I can talk to him whenever I want to. Well, I saw him again after break, the first day back and I didn’t really know what to do. I thought maybe he was just being nice that day in the gym, and maybe he didn’t actually want anything to do with me. But right before class he came up to me and dragged me away to his secret hideout. Anyways, we talked about break and stupid things at first, then he brought up what we talked about before and asked if I was okay. He wanted to know what was wrong and I wasn’t used to that. And I must’ve looked scared because he…”  
Chad stopped midsentence, afraid that once he put his thoughts out into the world there was no getting them back.  
“Yes Chad? What did he do next?”  
Chad took a deep breath before he spoke again.  
“Well, he put his hand on my back, I guess to comfort me? He said he was sorry and it was okay if I didn’t want to talk about it.”  
Riley showed no real emotion on his face, he was probably afraid that if he reacted in the slightest Chad would cut himself off from him at once.  
“And why were you hesitant to tell me that?”  
Chad knew, but should he know? He knew he couldn’t keep on living this way, it was just too much information to keep stored in his head alone.   
“I didn’t want to tell you because when he touched me...I, I didn’t hate it.”  
“What do you mean by that?”  
Riley was very selective with his words from this point on. He was doing his best to get as much out of Chad as possible without pushing him too far; he wanted Chad to feel like he wanted to share with him.  
“I mean, I liked it I guess. And it really scared me so I ran out of there and went to the gym for a few hours, I just sort of ran until my legs gave out.”  
Chad decided to leave out the part where he let “The Thoughts” in, let himself indulge in them just once. He figured he could manage that thought for himself.  
“Son, do you mind if I give you some advice?”  
Chad was a bit relieved to give someone else the floor, so he nodded.  
“Even though it may be our natural instinct to run away from the things that scare us, in the end we are only hurting ourselves by doing that. Chad, what is it you think you’re truly running away from?”  
Though Riley was serious, Chad took the question a little more lightheartedly.  
“Oh I don’t know, myself I guess.”  
Chad gave a small smile with his answer, but both Chad and Riley knew there was truth to that.  
“You have to learn how to stop running kid. Because no matter where you run, you just end up running into yourself. You know who said that?”  
“No, who?”   
Riley smiled before he answered.  
“Audrey Hepburn in Breakfast at Tiffany’s, great movie. And though you may have very little in common with Holly Golightly, that quote still applies to your situation.”  
Chad didn’t know who Holly Golightly was, but assumed it was a character in the movie. They both sat in silence for a few moments, then Riley looked at his watch.  
“My next appointment should be here soon, but please come see me again.”  
Chad stood up from the couch and leaned towards the door.  
“Yeah maybe, but I just don’t want anyone to know I’m here, especially my dad. Riley I just don’t know how I’m going to pay you for it.”  
Riley considered what Chad said and came to a compromise.  
“How about we meet outside of the office. You said you didn’t want to be shrinked, so I’ll just talk to you like a friend. How’s that sound?”  
“Actually that sounds great.”  
Riley handed him his business card and told him to call and they’ll schedule a time and place to get together next week. Chad thanked Riley for being so helpful and got back in his car to drive home. On his way he went by the movie store and rented Breakfast at Tiffany’s, when Audrey Hepburn said the line Riley had earlier quoted Chad cried, he felt that was a something he never had to tell a soul.  
\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Later that same night Chad was lying in bed unable to sleep when he leaned over and picked up Ryan’s card from his bedside table. He checked the time, 10:26 p.m. It was a little late but Chad had a really long day and he was too tired to be afraid right now, so against his better judgement he picked up the phone and called Ryan.  
“Hello?”  
Ryan sounded tired and Chad thought he might have woken him up, he was going to just hang up and pretend to be a wrong number but Ryan kept talking.  
“Hello? Chad is that you?”  
He loved the way he said his name, which made him feel like a 12 year old girl in a coming of age movie. He shook his head.  
“Yeah it’s me. Sorry if I woke you up.”  
“Oh no you didn’t, so what’s going on?”  
“Not much.” Chad lied.  
Ryan desperately wanted to press him about running away from him yesterday, but didn’t want to scare him away.  
“Yeah same here. Sharpay finally decided to just take everything into her own hands for the musical so I have nothing to do now.”  
“Oh, cool.”  
Chad wasn’t sure how to respond to anything about Sharpay.  
“So, tell me something Danforth.”  
“Like what?”  
“Anything. What’s your favorite basketball play or whatever it is?”  
Chad laughed into the phone with Ryan, the sound of Ryan’s laugh was something Chad wished he could hold onto for more than just that moment.  
“Want to know a secret?”  
“Of course I do.” said Ryan.  
“I’m not even sure I like basketball that much.”  
Ryan laughed louder now, Chad wished he could see his face.  
“What do you mean you don’t like basketball!? It’s all you do!”  
“Yeah I know but maybe that’s why. Does it make sense to say that I need it but I don’t like it or is that really cheesy?” said Chad.  
“No I actually totally get that. I hate performing about 95 percent of the time, but it’s worth it for the other 5 percent. I wouldn’t know who I was without it.”  
“Exactly! That’s how I am with basketball.”  
It felt nice for both of them to have friend, to just have someone to talk to. They talked until midnight about meaningless stuff, but it was good to just talk about nothing. It was good to be able to discuss the little things that bothered them and the things they found amusing. It was new territory for both of them to have someone to confide in who wasn’t a relative or a psychologist. Though Ryan loved Sharpay, and Chad appreciated Riley being there for him, this was just different. Neither of them had to like each other, they just did. They got along well and it was just so easy. In that hour or so of talking on the phone they both realized that this was the start of something, they didn’t know what, they just knew this wouldn’t be the last time they ever heard from each other.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for all of the support! Finally, I have updated this story and started up Chad and Ryan's story again. I hope you enjoy it!

The next day at school Chad felt good. He felt as if he had a fresh start and didn’t have to worry nearly as much as he had been. He had found a friend in Ryan and he appreciated that, he needed that. But Chad was actually starting to miss Troy too. He had been his best friend since they were kids and Chad was in a place in his life where he needed someone he truly knew. He needed the comfort of familiarity that most of us crave. So after practice he asked Troy if they could hang out at his place, play video games or something. Deep down Chad needed to know that hanging around Ryan wasn’t a bad thing, he wanted approval. More specifically he wanted Troy’s approval.  
When they got to Troy’s house they both crashed onto jumbo sized bean bag chairs and started racing virtual cars for around half an hour before Chad said anything.  
“Hey man” Chad said.  
“What’s up?” the typical way a male starts any conversation.  
“Well I uh, ran into Ryan yesterday.” Chad was keeping it nonchalant. Acting like he’d just ran into Ryan, instead of mentioning their secret getaway, was a better way to start this.  
“Evans? And?” Troy didn’t seem to phased seeing as his eyes never wavered from the tv screen as he spoke.  
Chad almost considered lying and saying Ryan asked him to be in the school musical or something bogus, but he really cared about this...and he didn’t know why.  
“Um, we just kind of talked and I don’t know he seemed kind of cool. Hey, do you think maybe the Drama Club would want to come on the annual camping trip?” Chad was shaking as he asked.  
The annual camping trip had been an East High tradition for years but only the athletes were ever invited.  
“The camping trip? What the hell are you talking about, that’s for athletes?” Troy was looking at Chad now and didn’t know what to make of what he was saying.  
“Yeah I know but don’t you think everyone should be able to go? The Drama Club would probably love it seeing as it’s a little less camping and a little more resorting.” Chad said.  
“Resorting? Yeah Chad whatever, invite the Drama Club if you want but why? Why do you care?” he asked.  
Chad wondered himself why he cared but he knew that a secluded resort in the middle of nowhere would give him a chance to talk to Ryan and figure things out. He didn’t want the whole Drama Club to be there too but he was trying to be inconspicuous.   
“Well when I talked to Ryan it sounded like the Drama Club was running themselves ramid trying to get ready for the musical and I just thought they could use a break too. It’s no big deal I just--  
Troy cut him off.  
“Seriously Chad relax it’s fine, I’ll let the principal know to invite the Drama Club okay?”   
“ Yeah...yeah cool thanks man.” Chad exhaled, he didn’t even realize he was holding his breath. And for some reason unknown to himself he smiled, smiled at the chance of spending time with Ryan Evans.  
\-------------------------------------------  
The next day Chad met Ryan in his secret dance studio after receiving a text for them to meet up there. When Chad walked in Ryan was sitting up against the wall staring at his phone. Chad recognized the way the light hit his face and highlighted his bone structure, it added a twinkle to his eye and forced him to be seen. He shook his head, what was he even doing?  
“Chad, why did I receive a call from the principal inviting Drama Club to the annual Athlete camp out?” he didn’t look mad, but he didn’t look thrilled.  
Chad stepped into the room and moved towards Ryan, sitting down beside him.   
“Actually that was me. I’m sorry, I know it’s not your thing I just thought it would be a good way for--  
Chad trailed off mid sentence, unsure of what to say next.  
“For us to get to know each other?” Ryan smirked. His face only inches away from Chads.  
Chad felt the heat rushing to his cheeks and turned away in an attempt to conceal it. Ryan and Chad had talked about all kinds of stuff on the phone like favorite things and least favorite things. But there was still so much more that Chad didn’t know about Ryan and he intended to find out what else there was.  
“Yeah actually, I thought it might be fun. Are you in?” Chad asked.  
Ryan though hesitant of Chad’s offer, decided to accept it because maybe Chad was right, it could be fun.  
“I’ll go but I must warn you I was head of my troop in the boy scouts so there’s a lot you don’t know about me Danforth.” Ryan smiled, looking into Chad’s eyes as he did so.   
Chad laughed and threw his hands up in defeat.  
“I’m so sorry I had no idea you were such a badass.” he said.  
“Eh well, I was a little less badass and a little more of a superior rope tyer.” Ryan replied.  
Chad was sitting shoulder to shoulder with Ryan and just that alone sent shivers down his spine. He wasn’t sure if this trip would be the best idea or the worst idea in the world. But he was excited to find out.  
\------------------------------------------------  
The annual camping trip took place at a camping resort instead of in the depths of the wild. They still camped in tents outside but there was a main lobby at the top of the hill with food, heat and an air hockey table. Though they could drive they had to ride a bus up there and Chad sat by Troy as usual. The Drama Club took up the front of the bus and Chad caught himself staring at the back of Ryan’s head the entire ride. As if he was trying to will him to turn around, notice him.  
Once they arrived the different groups all split off in different directions. The basketball team on one side and the Drama Club on the other. How was Chad supposed to talk to Ryan like this? Was this a mistake?   
Coach Bolton was last off the bus and the first to speak.  
“Alright everyone, set up your tents first then we’ll go up to the lobby for the air hockey competition. Winner gets the satisfaction of winning.” he said.  
So, Chad helped Troy set up their tent on the far right side. In fact they were pretty far out.  
“Troy is there a reason we’re so far away from everyone else?” Chad asked.  
Troy set down the pieces of the tent before he spoke.  
“Alright look I was sort of hoping that Gabriella and I would share this tent tonight if that’s cool. I didn’t tell you but she’s driving up later and I just...you know.”   
Chad did know. And honestly, he was thrilled. This meant he’d have to bunk with someone else.  
“I got it man, no problem. Seriously.” Chad tried not to smile as he said it.  
“Thanks man, I owe you one.” said Troy.  
But Chad knew it was him who owed Troy because now he could spend time with Ryan, he had a valid excuse for it.  
After everyone set up their tents people started to wander towards the main lobby. But Chad found Ryan’s eyes and gave him a look that said “Stay here”. Luckily Ryan knew what he was trying to say and fell behind until it was just the two of them left.  
“Hey Wildcat.” said Ryan, walking towards Chad.  
“Hey Ryan.” he said.  
They were just standing there at the bottom of a hill in the middle of the wilderness, staring each other down. Neither of them really sure of what to say or do next. Chad acted first.  
“Oh so um Troy is sharing his tent with Gabriella tonight is it okay if maybe I share one with you?” he asked.  
Ryan smiled, obviously pleasantly surprised at this.  
“Of course you can Wildcat. Sharpay already has one all to herself anyways.”   
He gestured over to an obscenely tacky pink tent in the middle of the land.  
“Jesus” Chad muttered under his breath.  
Ryan laughed and moved closer to Chad, placing his arm gently on Chad’s shoulder.  
Chad tensed under his touch and Ryan immediately pulled away, frustrated.  
“Okay what is it? Am I doing something wrong Chad?” he said.  
“No! No you’re not Ryan. Look I just--  
Chad stopped mid sentence, he had been doing that a lot lately. The things we stop ourselves from saying are often the most important.   
“I don’t get you Chad. One minute you’re talking to me and telling me all this stuff about your life and then the next you completely shut me out. What gives?” Ryan was angry.  
Chad could see it in Ryan’s eyes and he didn’t want him to pull away either because he liked Ryan...he really liked Ryan. And he didn’t know what to do about it.  
“I’m sorry Ryan, truly. I guess you just kind of scare me.” he said.  
Ryan leaned in towards Chad and could smell his cologne, musky and strong.   
“Why the hell would I scare you?” Ryan asked, not wavering.  
Chad was frustrated because it wasn’t Ryan that scared him it was the feelings, the tinglings, the “Thoughts” he’d tried so hard to push away. Everything was bubbling up and he was afraid he was about to explode.  
“It’s not you that scares me! It’s just...when you touch me I feel--  
“What?” Ryan cut him off but he wasn’t mad...he was curious.  
“I feel good. Terrified but, good. And I don’t know what it means.” he said.  
Ryan slowly raised his hand and wrapped it around the back of Chad’s head, his other hand moved to his waist. Chad sucked in a deep breath, not at all prepared for what was happening. Though for the first time in his life, he welcomed it.  
“Then maybe we should find out.” Ryan said.  
At that moment Chad leaned into Ryan and their bodies met in the middle. Lips slowly brushing at first but soon crashing and colliding with each other. Chad could feel his pants tighten and a tingle crawling up into his body. He held on tightly to Ryan’s waist as he slammed him against a tree, grinding their hips together. It was as if every thought Chad had ever had was coming out as once. And with every kiss, touch, and gasp Chad was relieved of a huge weight he didn’t even know he was carrying around. Ryan’s hands moved from Chad’s neck to his torso to his waist. And then Ryan moved further down, gently running his hand over the bulge in Chad’s pants. Chad suddenly remembered they were in broad daylight.  
“Hey wait, wait. Not out here okay.” he said.  
Ryan nodded though his hand was still resting on Chad. They moved not so swiftly to Ryan’s tent and fumbled to get the zipper to shut it. Once they were inside they were completely alone, vulnerable, and full of lust.  
Ryan straddled Chad and planted light kisses on his neck as his hands crawled up under his shirt. He threw it off and continued kissing, and kissing and kissing him. Chad’s groin was throbbing and he bucked his hips trying to find any contact. Ryan came up from his torso and laughed a small laugh.  
“Patience Chad.” he said.  
Chad had never seen Ryan so in control. And he couldn’t get enough of it.  
Slowly Ryan ran his hands over Chad’s body and started taking off clothing pieces one by one. First his own shirt, then chad’s pants, then his own and vice versa until finally...there was nothing left to hide behind. Ryan looked Chad in the eyes as his hand moved down and down, inch by inch.  
“You sure?” Ryan asked.  
The truth was Chad wasn’t sure. But he did know he wanted this more than anything right now.   
Ryan’s hand hovered directly over Chad’s groin and the lack of contact was making him squirm.   
“Ye-ees” he nodded. Bucking his hips up as he did so.  
Ryan wrapped his hand around Chad and started moving, slow and steady. He kissed Chad hard as he moved up and down on him. And Chad held onto him for dear life. Nothing in his life was going right, but this right now...this felt right.  
Chad gasped and pulled on Ryan’s hair in ecstasy as the pressure started to build. He squirmed and grinded and suddenly felt so vulnerable. But when Ryan came up from kissing him he looked at Chad like he was something. Like he mattered.   
Ryan tightened his grip and moved his hand faster, faster, faster.  
“Oh R-r-ryan” Chad’s speech was slurring and he tossed his head back on the pillow.  
He moaned against Ryan’s touch and at the exact moment of climax he screamed out and Ryan crashed against his lips. Feeling him, being with him, loving him. Chad had never done this with another person. And kissing while it was happening made it so much more intimate and meaningful. Chad felt so naked and vulnerable as he lay before Ryan but he knew there was nowhere else in the world he’d rather be.  
Ryan fell on his chest and perched himself up to look in his eyes. There were so many things they could’ve said to dismiss the whole thing and pretend it never happened. But it did happen and not only that but it meant something. The two boys just lay there together for awhile and existed. There wasn’t anything they felt the need to say. Chad and Ryan both had finally found comfort and peace in the most unlikely of places.  
They found it with each other.


End file.
